Boss Up: Taking on a New Year and Decade

Disclaimer: This post is how I perceived my last decade and year, processed hurt, pain, accomplishments, and more that occurred and changing my perspective and attitude to boss up (and get this money).

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How we got here: During the decade, a Detroit rapper, Blade Icewood, had this song "Boy Would You" that came out. I was literally in high school and my high school boyfriend exposed me to this song. Granted some people may not like the song for their own reasons, this song it was I listen to when I need to get myself together and handle business, regardless of what aspect of my life it's in. So simply put, "boss up and get this money."

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This decade brought a lot of heartache, uncertainty, financial challenges, academic challenges, family and friend issues, bad relationships , but also multiple opportunities to grow and learn from mistakes, situations, and to do better. I've definitely learn to come into my own, stand up for myself, not to let fear hold me back, and handle my own. For example, I was not happy in the city I was living in back in Michigan so I made the decision to relocate to a city I've never been to and had basically no one that I knew there. I overcame that fear to no longer hold myself back and overcome the fear even though I didn't know if this would provide new opportunities. It has, but it's definitely come with challenges where as a minority, I have to work 10x harder than the "majority" colleague even though I correct their mistakes and handle things they've should handle. However, because with a department manager who perceives me as not doing as much as this colleague, the situation presented one of my closest friends in this city, a mentor, and someone who genuinely looked out for me and knew what all I handled. So how is this bossing up? I'm literally breaking down and telling my manager exactly what I've done during in the week for multiple groups under our umbrella and providing my wins, which now makes the colleague act like they're stepping up or providing a mediocre performance. I don't do mediocrity at all. Not to mention, my manager's boss tends to insult my intelligence and call me ditzy, mind you I correct the mistakes and handle things that should've been handled by his "favorite," but there's no sense of urgency. May sound arrogant or whatever, but I set standards and expectations for myself personally, plus the standards my manager has for myself and my peers (which are all in leadership roles) impact my behaviors in the workplace. So I literally decided to boss up and take my office by storm, make an impact and set a standard.

So, I covered work and school…now personal. Growing up, there tended to be more arguments than normal between my parents. Eventually, my parents separated and I remember an argument between my parents on who got custody of me and/or my sister in my grandparents' basement. I chose to be with my dad because I connected with him more, but I always felt my mom made a lot of things a competition between me and her, her and my sister, her and my dad, and it was just too much for young me. My father always had high standards for my sister and me so we didn't go down paths he went down when growing up. That caused a somewhat toxic environment at his home after my parents separated and divorced. But, I knew he had our best interest at heart, even if he didn't display or say it appropriately. He had this vision on what my sister and I should be, and we didn't necessarily agree with it, and we chose our own paths in high school to college to our jobs. Again, don't let anyone dictate what you do, do what you feel is appropriate for yourself. Now, my mom is a different story. Growing up, it seemed to be always a competition for her. For example, how when she was younger, her hair was longer than mine when she was younger, so she threated to cut my hair while I was asleep. She would brag about how guys would always asking for her numbers when she was my "age," or even how she received a better GPA than me when I was in high school. Literally, constant competition for her in so many ways. So I say this, life and your accomplishments are to not be in competition with anyone else, regardless of their relationship to you. Be in competition with yourself and no one else, because at the end of the day, you're working to be a better you. If you find yourself competing with someone else on who was more successful, made more money, etc., it'll be a never-ending battle, that (to me) is not worth your time, stress (emotional and mentally). So when my mom brings up her past to compare it to what I got going on, I just let her talk because I know how I'm doing and how I'm handling my business.

Also on a personal note, I've had exes who always wanted to control what I wanted to do, from dancing, professionally, be condescending, but thank goodness I didn't listen to them because the things that I took joy in (dance, science, researching) served a greater purpose in my life than in an insecure male. Also, listening to meaningless words of someone who claimed they loved me but kept hopping in and out of relationships with others. I felt like I was holding myself back from things I was destined to do because I looked out for and was more focused on pleasing them more than myself…a learning and growing experience. I've learned what to look into a partner and friend who truly supports and knows if they want to experience life with me, instead of me having to constantly ask because of the uncertainty.

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I guess my point with this post is to not let anyone hold you back from what you feel is your true purpose/passion because of how they feel about it. Also, with the new year and decade, don't let anyone who feels they need to be in competition with you distract you either. Don't let anyone who doesn't see your work, progress, impact, and perception of you determine who you are because you are in this position for a reason. Don't let an incompetent partner determine if you are worthy of love and a committed relationship. Truly embrace who you are, your purpose, and everything in between. With that being said, BOSS UP in the new year and decade!

@TheStudentForLife .