Dealing with Imposter syndrome

As I scroll through social media, I couldn't help but notice that a trend in the posts was imposter syndrome. I'm talking people who may be perceived as having it all together on social media discuss how they sometimes question how they got to where they currently are and will be going. And I'm talking about people across all fields, professionals, and lifestyles. So I figured I'd touch on my imposter syndrome, especially being a Black woman in a predominantly White workplace and academic setting.

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My Experience at Work

I remember breaking down in a friend's office about how I felt like I was constantly being put in a position to be under my boss's microscope about everything I was doing wrong. Not to mention, a business partner would do mediocre work and it seemed like they were never under the radar or questioned about their work. Well, my friend broke it down to me stating that I need to change my perspective of what's being asked of me. Essentially, I'm being asked to build reporting and analysis to improve the business and employee performance, whereas that person is not, so leadership has faith in my work that makes it's way to higher-ups. I needed that reminder and change of mindset.

I've also had conversations with those who are to be subject matter experts (SMEs) and would challenge me on calls about data and reporting. It made me question my understanding of the business and data, causing me to second guess and to confirm with others that I was correct. Now that I think about it, I don't know how someone who is so far removed from the business will try to tell someone who works with the business 40 hours a week how it operates.

But I definitely have my days where I question the reporting, what leadership sees in me when I take on these projects, and why I'm pushed so hard compared to others. I will say, with the new tasks, projects, and asks of me, I'm learning new skills while refining current skills that can take me to the next level. Ya'll should see how I am at home, especially while working on this dissertation, which leads me to...

Dissertating and being a Grad (Teaching Assistant)

Speaking from being a graduate/teaching assistant for the last 2-3 years, some of the professors I was supporting were the ones that had me question why I was in this position and helping students. Just their tone, the questioning of sources in the feedback I would provide began to push me to a point where I really don't know why I was contacted to be in this role. But then I had to remember what my friend told me at work, received feedback from my peer of how many of the learners they support in a different role express how they would love to have me as their TA, not to mention I swear I get assigned more sections to support each quarter.

Now when it comes to the dissertation phase of my doctorate, I can't even tell you how many times I've broken down in tears, questioning why would I do this to myself, being overwhelmed, and feeling like I wasn't good enough. But my mentor/Chair broke it down and provided a pep talk. Long story short, I needed to stop questioning myself, which then holds me back from reaching my potential in the different areas of my life.

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I wanted to share how I snap out of an imposter syndrome episode, and hopefully, it helps others who are struggling with this. Here we go!

Talk with a confidant

Talking to a few close friends and mentors has helped with receiving a different perspective of the situation that may have you frustrated and overwhelmed. You may even connect with someone you met on social media that you are able to connect with and vent to. I've met some pretty amazing people who helped with my imposter syndrome.

Speak or write affirmations down daily / Journaling

I took note of what Bryiana Dyrdek shared on her social media account, and wrote out affirmations and manifestations on cards and stuck them on my bathroom mirror to read and say as I got ready for my day. Not only do I state those in the morning, or whatever time of the day, I've gotten in the habit of writing them down in my journal each morning to help change my mindset and set the tone of my day.

Cry

Just do it if you need to do. You're allowed to be vulnerable and cry, and not be strong 24/7.

Exercise

Listen! Physical activity is such a game-changer in your mood and your mind, that I highly suggest that you do something each day. It doesn't have to be intense or for a long duration. Ranging from a walk around your neighborhood to a class or just turning up in your living room (my Friday nights), you'll, hopefully, be in a better mindset.

Listen to Music

If I'm in a mood where I question my position in academia or professionally, I tend to listen to rap music to hype myself up. So I suggest to music that gets you in that mindset/perspective, you're in these positions for a reason!

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Each day is different, but trust me when I say you deserve to be where you are and where you will be!

@TheStudentForLife